Jesus Christ: The Talking Doll

For crying out loud...

A talking Jesus doll has been turned down by the Marine Reserves' Toys for Tots program.

A suburban Los Angeles company offered to donate 4,000 of the foot-tall dolls, which quote Bible verses, for distribution to needy children this holiday season. The battery-powered Jesus is one of several dolls manufactured by one2believe, a division of the Valencia- based Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Co., based on Biblical figures.

But the charity balked because of the dolls' religious nature.

Toys are donated to kids based on financial need and "we don't know anything about their background, their religious affiliations," said Bill Grein, vice president of Marine Toys for Tots Foundation, in Quantico, Va.

As a government entity, Marines "don't profess one religion over another," Grein said Tuesday. "We can't take a chance on sending a talking Jesus doll to a Jewish family or a Muslim family."

Michael La Roe, director of business development for both companies, said the charity's decision left him "surprised and disappointed."

"The idea was for them to be three-dimensional teaching tools for kids," La Roe said. "I believe as a churchgoing person, anyone can benefit from hearing the words of the Bible."

According to the company's Web site, the button-activated, bearded Jesus, dressed in hand-sewn cloth outfits and sandals, recites Scripture such as "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again" and "Love your neighbor as yourself." It has a $20 retail value.

You can learn more about this amazing product here, including the fact that this Jesus has "realistic eyes."  I like my version better.

My observations...

1. Jesus is worth way more than $20.  Hence, this cheapens Jesus.

2. I don't see any reference to Jesus saying anything about "hypocrites" or "white-washed tombs" or many other Scriptures.  So this doll misrepresents Jesus.

3. Jesus welcomes all the little children.  So isn't it a bit odd that this doll was only going to be donated to "needy" ones?  Shouldn't every kid get their own free Jesus?

4. [sarcasm]At least the company got Jesus' skin color right.[/sarcasm]

5. Since when does Jesus look like Val Kilmer?

Comments

[Joe Kennedy]

Oh my gosh, it IS Val Kilmer. And those realistic eyes look blue to me.

[Matt Snowden]

It's Val from a 1970s Kung Fu film.

[Joe Thorn]

Very, very funny man. Great thing to read this morning. And that you saw Val Kilmer in the doll is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. It really does look like him.

[Dustin]

I actually have one of these illustrious Jesus dolls in my possession. I received one free as a promotional thing at a ministry conference. I thought they were lame and funny, thus I kept it. What's interesting, as Steve already mentioned, is Jesus' skin tone. But even worse is his sculptured physique, with his nipples poking through his clothes.

I kept it so I could smile when I look at it. What some people do to share the gospel (although I realize their hearts may have been in the right place), but still...

[william]

Thanks. Good commentary. I also wonder about Jesus in a dress with carefully styled hair and beard. He's so clean, too! I guess this is the picture of Jesus we've grown to know, but could we possibly have some alternatives that more closely resemble the Bible?

[anon e. mus]

This Jesus actually looks like Jonny Damon.

[Steve McCoy]

Johnny Damon

[bjnotbk]

What's wrong with Val Kilmer? He did a pretty good job in the Doors, not so good job as Batman.

[Aaron K.]

Jesus looks more like Val Kilmer than the picture of Val Kilmer.

[cavman]

I thought it looked like Val, and then saw the comment. So does this mean it's okay to have a man-crush on Val Kilmer?

[Keith Price]

Wait...if Val Kilmer was Batman, the who's picture is on the left side of this blog? Is that Val?

[Andy]

Val Kilmer, definitely. Johny "Judas" Damon. A little. Possibly a young Kenny Rogers?? Hmmm . . . I bet Jesus would know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em . . .

[Chris W]

What they don't tell you is that they used Gilbert Gottfried's voice for the scripture recitations.

[publius]

Now, just to be clear, is this a Jesus Doll, or a Jesus Action Figure? Because if it's an action figure, then it's cool. Especially if it has battle-action Kung-Fu grip.

And guns. Gotta have guns.