"Goodbye, Suburbs" (single page view) is a great article on how some urbanites who move to the suburbs cannot but help moving back to the city, for all the right reasons. Here's a video to accompany the article.
Loneliness...
Once settled, Ms. Hillen, a stay-at-home mother, embarked on a fruitless hunt for companionship. "Out there, you have to work at being with people," she said. "In a year, I got one play date for my kid. We joined the Newcomers Club, and the day we put our house on the market, they finally called. You'd go to the library for a reading and there would be no one there." She added, "You're a lonely, desperate housewife with nothing to do."
Even the playgrounds were desolate. "And on the rare occasions there was somebody there and you struck up a conversation," she said, "they would literally move away. And they didn't encourage the kids to play together. We were so shocked."
Lawns...
I go home and there's, like, people doing their lawn every five minutes. They seem like normal people but they spend, like, hours working on their lawn.
Kings and kingdoms...
Every day when I came home, I would say to myself, 'I really am a king and this is a castle, and who do I think I am?'
Charming suburbia...
"You go to these little towns and they are very charming and sweet and have all these cute little shops," said Brian Lover, who put his West Orange, N.J., house back on the market just three months after moving there. "But I think when you live in these areas full time, those neighborhood shops aren't so cute. And those neighborhood restaurants that look so great, you know how bad they really are."
The sucking suburbs...
With their baby in tow, the couple stalked the parks and Gymboree classes in nearby Montclair, figuring "that's where we'll find the city people and the cool parents," Mr. Lover said. "But there wasn't anyone we could find a core to. It was all air." As for the city people they'd hoped to meet? "They were city people, not anymore," he said. "The suburbs have some way of sucking the city out of you."
I appreciate this post, because I wrote an essay on the pro's and con's of suburbia a few months ago. It interesting to see how bland suburbia really is compared to urban areas. I have lived in suburbia my whole life, but I would love to live in the midst of a city someday.
Posted by: Joey | 01/10/2008 at 03:40 PM
My wife and I left suburbia more than two years ago to plant a church in urban Cincinnati. We moved as we were expecting our first child, uncertain how welcomed the urban environment would be to child rearing. We've absolutely loved it. The abundance of museums, parks, events combined with the absence of the commute, has been a dream. It's a good life and I think more people will seek it out in the years to come.
Posted by: steve carr | 01/10/2008 at 08:21 PM
How much of this is chasing the ever evasive happiness? You know, the law of diminishing returns. Once everyone was running out of the city to find their utopia--it wasn't there--and now the pendulum swings the other way. As I understand it, the good life is not in a place--lots of museums or none. I'm glad Jesus comes to 60610 and 60010.
Posted by: Saralyn | 01/10/2008 at 11:58 PM
I moved to the suburbs after getting married and hated it for the reasons you listed. We invited neighbors to dinner, took cookies to them. Nothing.
My husband and I are thinking about moving back to the city, but prices are so much more expensive and that would mean being too far away from the church that we fell in love with.
Oy vey.
Posted by: Heather | 01/11/2008 at 02:17 PM
I lived in New Jersey and spent plenty of time in NYC as well as the exact suburbs mentioned in the above quotes. I do not prefer EITHER suburbs or city to the exclusion of the other.
My response to the above:
- New Jersey suburbs are unlike those in the Midwest or West. They are little towns, no strip malls, they are generally highly congested. Because cost of living is ridiculous in NYC/NJ, both spouses work and nannies watch the kids all day. It's very secular and people aren't particularly friendly.
- Lawns and trees are nice. Yes, they require maintenance. But don't worry, they're cutting plenty of the trees down to build bigger houses so soon you won't have to mow or clip anything.
- I currently live in suburbia far removed from NYC, in an older neighborhood outside Virginia Beach. It's quite friendly and pleasant. I miss NYC in many ways. But as Saralyn said above, we won't find utopia in either the suburbs OR the city.
Ken
Posted by: Ken | 01/14/2008 at 05:25 AM
Ken, thanks for an explanation of the context. Very helpful.
Posted by: Steve McCoy | 01/14/2008 at 10:42 AM