Approaching Non-Christians

This was over at Rethink Mission. Wanted to share it with you and get your thoughts. Agree or disagree?

Comments

[sdesocio]

Its interesting, he is totally right with the quickstar thing. Im not sure about the other stuff. If we care about a nonchristian and we think that the bible correctly portrays reality we need at some point to make it clear whats going on.

[Chris Roberts]

Christians should not go to non-Christians for evangelism advice... Nonetheless, he is right that our example should demonstrate the joy of living in a relationship with Christ.

[Josh R]

There is a natural tendency for non-Christians to have both too high, and too low of expectations. They have too low of expectations in that they expect us to come up with a sales pitch that will convince them. Salvation is a miracle - not a successful sales pitch... But there is too high of an expectation in that they expect the Christian to have it all together.. We don't.. We never will in this lifetime.. Christianity doesn't make us "happy" And if you are converting so that you can be happy, you are missing the point..

He is right about most everything else though.. Much Evangelism is contrived, formulaic, and fake.

[Jonathan McIntosh]

Thanks for posting this, Steve.

If you're curious, Aaron interacts a bit here: http://www.rethinkmission.org/missional-living/christians-trying-to-convert-non-christians/

[Nathan]

I know some non-Christians who get pissed off that I'm relatively happy. I appreciated much of this, but it must remain clear that I am not the good news!

[Steve McCoy]

I've had a guy who has asked me multiple times to come to a meeting about his "business." It took him 3-4 time asking me to realize he's asked me many times before. Ugh. Hate that.

[Steve McCoy]

Christians can't have relationships without "an agenda." And that's a good thing. Jesus didn't come into the world without an agenda. Paul wasn't taking missionary trips to see the countryside. He had an agenda.

It seems clear to me that while Aaron says we shouldn't have an agenda, he also seems to acknowledge that Jonathan does has a Gospel agenda. He just calls is "desire" (in the comments at the site). He says in the video that we should approach non-Christians with love. I think Aaron likes the word "desire" because it feels more based on heart issues: love and care and hope and friendship. "Agenda" springs from calculations and cold calls and a business approach, etc. It's semantics.

Christians do have agendas with non-Christians. We just need to also have the agenda of building real relationships, treating them as real people, loving them, serving them, as well as Gospeling them.

[twitter.com/JonMcIntosh]

Steve, I agree & disagree.

Aaron knows that I want him to become a Christian. It's something that I earnestly hope & pray for. But that's not the reason that he & I are friends. (To be fair, that was one of my motivations in originally pursuing a friendship with him.)

But what has kept us friends over the years is simply that we really like each other. In fact, I love Aaron. He is a genuine friend and I really enjoy his company, his friendship.

In that way, its a friendship without an agenda - because it's not contingent on whether or not Aaron ever comes to Christ.

[BrettR]

Having a reason for the joy within us is not being a happy-go-lucky dude who opens doors for the ladies, but instead being someone who suffers well and can proclaim the gospel with power in the midst of suffering. Other than that, the "example" is just religion (pejorative sense).

Asking someone who doesn't believe in the gospel these kinds of questions is like asking someone born blind to describe the color yellow.

[twitter.com/joethorn]

I'm late to the party as usua... wait. Was I even invited? Anyway, some of this is semantics. Agenda, desire...

I'd like to take a step back for a minute.

First, the thoughtful Christian never has relationships with anyone - Christian or non' - without seeing that relationship connected to the glory of God. In fact we should see every action we take, every relationship we build, everything we do as a means of bringing glory to God. So in my relationships with non-Christians my primary goal is to glorify God. This requires me to love them authentically, know them truly, and seek their good (temporal and eternal) and that means seeking their salvation. That, my friends, is one heck of an agenda.

Second, I wouldn't use the word "agenda" to describe my relationships with non-Christians not because it's inaccurate, but because most react to the word negatively because of how we view salesmen and con-men with "hidden agendas."

Third, my motive in befriending a non-Christian and seeking their good (temporal and eternal) is multilayered. I'll give two, the most natural and the ultimate (though we could really break this down into several). #1 I make friends because people are worth knowing. All people are made in God's image and worth knowing. It's not good to be alone. Not for me, and not for them. But above that motive is another - #2 to see the glory of the Gospel and Christ exalted in his work of redeeming a sinner from the corruption and consequences of the fall. There is wide range of motives between those two.

Fourth, my friends need to know that our friendship, my love for them, is not based on their response to Jesus. It's not even based on my hope for their response. My love for the people at my dojang and running store and coffee house is based on two inexorable truths: God loves them, and he calls me, his Child, to love them. This needs to be clear to my non-Christian friends. That I love them without strings. BUT that doesn't mean I don't have hopes/desires, or an agenda.

So, in the end. Some people are objecting to a word. Let's get to the issue. Can a Christian befriend a non-Christian without seeking their salvation? I say no. Agenda? Desire? I think sometimes we are reacting to the inauthentic and conditional love and interest some churches/Christians have shown the world. That should be rejected. But I think we need to affirm the agenda God gave us.

[twitter.com/tommyllew]

I tend to agree with the non-Christian point of view. I think we're rarely successful in selling or arguing anyone into a Christian decision. Following Christ SHOULD be the most important decision anyone makes. It SHOULD follow years of soul searching. And that soul searching should continue to the grave. Maybe beyond.

The meaningful discussions that allow that kind of searching to happen only come through honest relationship.

[Ben Simpson]

I think there is a great deal of insight in his final comment, meaning that if your agenda in having a relationship with another person is solely defined by conversion, then there is a danger that one could press the issue, or give up on the relationship entirely as patience runs thin and conversion seems unlikely. If our agenda is relationship for the sake of relationship, and is grounded in truly loving our neighbor, then other fruit, including conversion, may be an outcome. At that point it is just a bonus to be part of what God has done in another person's life.

We should keep in mind that our calling is to witness and to witness faithfully, while praying that God would speak through us and bring people to repentance and conversion by the power of the Holy Spirit.

[twitter.com/JonMcIntosh]

Wow - I've really appreciated this discussion - (I keep asking myself why I waited till I had a blog before I started participating in blog discussion?)

Joe - I really like your emphasis that all of our relationships come back to the glory of God.

I think that the distinction that Aaron has helped me make is, however, more than semantics.

I've had "evangelistic projects" and I've had friends. And I'll say that a friend is much better... and much harder. Because it means sticking with someone, and listening to them, and being forced by them to grow in sometimes unexpected ways.

That's what Aaron has been for me.

[Brian]

I agree with Jonathan that this is a great discussion and thank Steve for bringing it up.

What would you say to someone who would suggest that because we desire to see as many people as possible come into the Kingdom and glorify God, that we don't have the time to maintain friendships with people who are pursuing different goals?

I think that this type of person would argue that to invest heavily over many years with someone who has no interest in Christ would be not strategic.

[limpdance]

Joe has such a comprehensive, helpful response.

Evangelism is a subset of loving my neighbour as myself. Which means I should be happy for them to give them the whole world - including my time, resources and self - but always mindful that it means little ultimately if they lose their soul. Only faith can prevent that; and faith comes by hearing...

[Ben Simpson]

I would probably ask at what point it becomes certain that "this type of person" is most certainly beyond the pale, and by what criteria a determination is made that this person "has no interest in Christ."

I think I see where you're going. Friendships come and go, some for good reasons, some for not so good. Sometimes friendships dissolve because there is not a common vision or project to be undertaken together, or because the relationship stall due to differences in values.

I think that the reasons we have friendships with people are not necessarily to bring them to a desired end, nor because they bring us some type of advantage, but simply for the value in calling another person a friend.

[John Harris]

WOW, I'm shocked. If you're a Christian, and you're doing anything out of a motivation other than bringing glory to God, you're involved in an idolators enterprise. How can you truly be "friends" with a non-believer? Someone wise once said "what does light have in common with darkness?" You can be nice, you can even be associates, but friends? I think not. Unless you water-down what it means to be a friend, or your life isn't really spent in pursuit of God. Obviously none of us 100% peruse God, but that doesn't excuse the practice, let alone allow us to present it as desirable behavior. Let's stick with God's word for witnessing advice and understand that it's the Holy Spirit who leads us into all truth, not non-Christians.

[twitter.com/JonMcIntosh]

John Harris, I'm shocked. Have you read the gospel accounts?

I really am not trying to mock or dismiss what you've written here, but I think it is impossible to read stories about the "friend of sinners" (something someone else wise once said) and miss his deep love for prostitutes, tax collectors, drunkards, and wayward women.

Do you want to stand by your statement, in light of Jesus' earthly ministry, that Christians cannot be friends with non-Christians?

[Malone Dunlavy]

This is a really cool video. I think it is rad that you (jonathan) have a friendship with a nonbeliever that is so strong that you can openly discuss this topic (I hope I understood the tread, that jonathan is the one filming.) It is always a fantastic discussion when believers can sit down and openly discuss Christianity and aspects of it with their non believing friends.

As far as the agree/disagree goes, I think it is a little of both for me. Now, I am young so if anything I say is offbase, feel free to challenge it, as I am sure you would. The whole topic of evangelism, for me, as I have studied and grown, has become much more rubust. Where I once sided with most American Christians, like Mr. Harris, I have found that we were created to interact differently.

The nature of the body of Christ is that we are one, unified body, under Christ, in Christ, and for Christ. His Spirit binds people who normally would not unite for a purpose. Our purpose seems to be to make God known, and the way Scripture presents us fulfilling that is by being ONE BODY. our fellowship should create a picture of God for the non-believer. This goes well with the video, being real, living out our faith. That calls for an intimacy that can only be obtained by the Spirit, and by the Spirit empowering us to commit to each other. Jonathan I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that friendship means sticking with someone.

our evangelism in this scenario seems to have a few layers to it. On one hand, we need relationships. Jesus did it; He had relationships with 12 sinners as well as others for sure (I am pretty sure the disciples didn't have the Spirit yet). Jesus built relationships with those men, as well as many others, the marys for one. We should be doing that. Loving our neighbor, literally, and not a love with expectations, but a selfless unconditional selfsacrificing love, like Christ has for us. Second, we need the gospel word, as you said again Jonathan, you make sure your friends know that God loves you, and them and that your love comes from God, (commandment, and the Spirit) Jeff Vanderstelt once said,'anything good or loving that you have seen in me wasn't me, it was God through me.' I think that should ring true. As I said, we do need the gospel word, it is a message to be proclaimed both in action and in word. Third, this is part of the proclaiming by action, that is, being a body. This too involves commitment. If we are to be a picture of God in the intimate way Scripture portrays, we have to live life with eachother as well. We cannot develop that intimate, completely unified, open relationship with one another without commitment.

If this thread was to critique the video, then, sorry I interupted :-D But if it was to discuss 'evangelism' in connection with what was said in the video, I believe our non-believing friend is only lacking in a bit of understanding about how humans are called to be. Yes, us individual Christians need to be real and live out our faith, but that living out is not fully accomplished without living it out together, multiple people in one group functioning as ONE BODY.

Build relationships, without expectation
Proclaim the gospel word, without expectation (short of God doing the work, Him building His church)
and Introduce to the Gospel Community.

buidling relationship and introducing to true community is part of the action proclaiming,
and including the Word, a proper understanding of reality being played out in dealing with everyday life,
a full-force proclamation that God is real, He created everything, we rebeled but he still loved, he is redeeming us, payed our penalty, is overcoming the power of sin in our lives by the Spirit, and is coming back to rid us of the presence of sin completely.
(of course, the gospel is also more than this as well :-D)

Sorry I went on a rant, but did my point get through?
also sorry, I am new to blog discussions.