Review: Introverts in the Church

Books change us in different ways. Some help confirm what we already know. Some teach us something new. Some challenge our thinking or theology. Some help us grow in our faith. And so on. 

Few books really change me deeply. Directly. Powerfully. Never to look back. I didn't expect it, but this one had me spinning for days and still eager to consider the implications more and more. I'll be honest. I was in a rut. I still am trying to turn my way out. I need refreshment. I need recharging. I need renewal. And God has used Introverts in the Church by Adam McHugh to show me how I put myself in the rut and how to get out. And that was just after the first 2 chapters.

What is realized is that I've been working hard for years at being more extroverted. After all, the more extroverted I could be the better I could function in ministry. I'd be a better evangelist and preacher and counselor and networker and so on. Imagine the hunger to be in constant interaction with the people around you in pastoral ministry. I romanticized that idea, but struggled to follow through. I have been streaky at best. And the more I felt guilty about it, the more drained I became and harder I worked to be something that didn't *click*. McHugh explained a picture of me in the book that opened my eyes.

McHugh helped explain my introversion in super-helpful recognizable attributes (p 42). I recharge best alone or with close friends or family. I need rest after outside activities and interaction with people. I'm territorial with private & family space and treat my home like a sanctuary. Small talk drives me batty. My brain is bubbling with activity no matter what else is going on around me. And so on. I think while reading this chapter I giggled with delight at the things I learned about myself that I knew but didn't know, if you know what I mean. Ok, I didn't "giggle." I'm a dude, after all. But I grinned big and in a giggle-y way.

Introverts in the Church gave me glasses to see myself more clearly as well as the introverts around me. And, by the way, it ends up being very helpful to understand extroverts since comparisons are so often made. Then McHugh weaves them together to show how we individually a mixture of the two since none of us are pure introvert or extrovert, and the church is also a mixture of the two having people of all variations. In many ways this book is really about the varied gifts in the body of Christ and how we need them all.

I think I've been duped into believing that the best gift I could give my church is to become more like someone else. I knew better than to want to be John Piper. But I overlooked the problem of not wanting to be an introvert. Books and blogs and Twitter and the rest are perfect places to develop extroversion envy. Through a number of things over the past year, culminating with this book, God has put me in my place. And for the first time in a while being an introvert the place I want to be. Now I'm working to relearn the rhythms that make sense for me to be me when I pray, work, rest, serve and enjoy the life and calling God gave me. For that work McHugh gives helpful chapters on introverted spirituality, community & relationship. leadership, evangelism and more. These chapters will be helpful friends to revisit along that pathway.

I think what I learned most as I reflected on Introverts in the Church, and what is changing most about me because of it, is that my best work for the church as a pastor is deep work. It's reading deep. Praying. Contemplating. Being silent. Enjoying the refreshing presence of God.

Introverts in the Church is one of the most important books I've read in years. It's not perfect. I may have written things a bit differently here and there. I might have used different examples and stories in places. And my journey is different than yours, so you may not have the same experience as me. But I believe it will help free people in similar situations as me to be who God made them to be. For that reason it's highly recommended for introverts and church leaders. I can't help but to think this will also be helpful for parents, coaches, teachers and to people working with people in numerous avenues of life. 

Buy at Amazon

Comments

[Rick]

Good review.

I remember a seminary prof discussing in class the fact that he was an introvert, which was somewhat of a freeing feeling for me. I was not alone.

You wrote: "my best work for the church as a pastor is deep work". But will that be misunderstood by others (especially extroverts that do not recognize the introvert/extrovert distinctions)?

Does he address that in the book? Do you have your own thoughts on how to deal with that?

[Vickie]

Great review, I too am introvert who wants to be and envies extroverts. I will be looking into this book!

[Gabe]

I have got to get a copy of that when I have money again.

[Tyler]

There aren't many reviews that make me want to run out and buy a book - but as an introvert in the church who always seems to feel guilty and ineffective - this review made me want to leave work right now and go read the book. Of course, I may have to wait a little bit, but thank you for the review!

[Paul Sappington]

An unfortunate fact is that both introverts and extraverts can easily misunderstand each other, and more than likely, someone could easily misunderstand what is meant by "deep work." Psychologists define "introversion" with three characteristics, one of them being a preference for depth over breadth. In the social context, that means that introverts will invest themselves in a few deep relationships while extraverts will spread themselves far and wide among many people at the expense of depth. This works in other contexts as well, such as a college student specializing in one field as opposed to another who studies a little bit of everything (and incidentally, the majority of college professors are introverts). McHugh discusses this as well as the other two dimensions of introverstion in chapter 2: "The Introverted Difference."

The other two dimensions are energy source and internal processing. Introverts get their energy during their times alone while extraverts derive energy from outside stimulation. Also, introverts tend to think, reflect, and introspect before speaking while extraverts think and talk at the same time.

Introverts in the Church is a great book that has been helpful to me, an introverted Pentecostal (I know, the ultimate oxymoron!) who was often ridiculed for my introversion, and then later commended for gifts that come from my introversion!

McHugh runs a blog for his book at www.introvertedchurch.com.

[Matthew]

I was a misanthropic atheist with avoidance issues until the Lord overthrew me and called me to work in ministry. God sure has an ironic sense of humor. ;)

[Elle M.]

Great review. I had been thinking about whether to read this book and you made it clear that I should. It also seems like a necessary addition to the section of my library devoted to personality type analysis (I'm a certified Myers-Briggs practitioner and an INFJ). I've blogged a lot about this subject in the past, but am just now posting stuff to the archives of my new blog, so I don't have a lot to show for it at the moment, but if anyone is interested in pursuing Christianity and personality further, I recommend a couple of sites:

This provides a sound Biblical defense of and guide to the MBTI (Myers-Briggs):

http://home.centurytel.net/foundations/humanity/mbti/contents.htm

This one theorizes that churches can actually be classified by personality type, which I find fascinating, and which also helped me in finding a church:

http://congregationalidentity.org/

[Rick]

Thanks.

[Steve McCoy]

Yeah, he does. I think when introverts feel free to be introverts, extroverts will have no problem seeing them as deep well's of life in the church. I'm not saying extroverts don't see that, as many do.

I think as I refocus on "deep work" it will make me a better, healthier example and pastor.

[Steve McCoy]

Glad my review touched a nerve with some of you. Hope it's a blessing for you as it has been for me.

[Bkhans]

Steve, I've been at the pastor-bit for over twenty years, all of them as an introvert :) I decided long ago that God was going to use me as is. It's helped me to see my tasks in a new light. Preaching, for example. Instead of being an experience of loving to be up in front of people (I don't), I find myself drawn to the challenge of presenting God's truth driven by the intuitive challenge of getting close to people's hearts. That's just one example, but I hope that it helps clarify some things.

[Llinda Stoll]

What a great gift it was to get permission to be who we really are ... and to have someone say that because you are who you are, you can be really effective in ministry.

mmm ... I guess our Creator already told us over and over in His Word. We just didn't get it!

[Russ Rankin]

Very good, compelling review, Steve. I've grappled with those issues as well, and have thought I was "deficient" in some way because I'm not wired to be the extroverted front man that can engage anyone in any conversation with limitless supply of energy. I've got to get this book....as soon as I get a job.

[Doug]

Thanks for the review. I had not heard to this book and should check it out. I remember Andy Stanly once saying that we serve and intensely creative God, and we don't need to be put in other peoples molds. One myth about introverts is that they can't communicate effectively. Often, I think they help and communicate with a greater degree of reality.